When I began my own practice, I read about the great masters who engaged in ascetic practice in the depth of forests, wilderness and graveyards, in order to realize the truth, to cut off all troubles and develop true freedom, peace and stability of heart and mind. I deeply felt that the Buddha wanted me to go this way too. And so I studied the method that the great masters used in their own practice, and then started living in a dilapidated pagoda, then in a graveyard, then in a cave. There I devoted myself to the practice of Chan and quiet contemplation to realize the truth of our essential nature which the Buddha taught.

When I practiced meditation in the graveyard in Yilan, I took death as a way of contemplating the “I”, calmly observing the transition from life to death that was happening in front of my eyes. I came to feel that death is the great equalizer. No matter what our station is in this life, we are all the same when we arrive in the graveyard. And so I started asking myself:“What is the meaning of life, of my life?” To find an answer I kept the Buddhist precepts (sila), and practiced concentration (samadhi) to develop the wisdom of seeing through things (prajna). When we keep the precepts and practice concentration, we no longer hanker after things, but we learn to master our own heart and mind, to make it smooth and soft. Then we use wisdom to see through everything that exists in this universe, to let go and completely free ourselves from worries and troubles. At that time, I practiced Chan all day and night, never giving up. This is how I developed great perseverance.

Later, to progress even more, I decided to engage in ascetic practice and fasting in a cave. Why would one want to do such a thing? It is all to find our true, essential nature. When I was in the cave, very weakened from the fast, at the point of almost dying, I suddenly realized the impermanence of life, and at the same time, I realized that which never dies: our true enlightened nature. And with that experience I was able to get a hold of my true, essential Self.

Each and every one of us has this true, essential self. All we need to do is to dig deep to find it. What is the way to dig deep? It is learning Buddhism, and developing right views. My own ascetic practice of Chan, the suffering I went through and the contemplation of the body I engaged in, all helped me understand where life comes from and where it goes. I realized that this body of ours is a composite of the four elements – earth, water, fire and wind - that it is permanently changing, that it is illusory and perishable. But our True Self is neither born nor perishes, it has no form or shape, it never dies. It is our body that is goes through rebirth in the world of life and death, but our spiritual essential nature never even moves. Death is no other than life, and life is no other than death. This is the right way of looking at things, and the basic teaching of the Buddha.

Dharma Master Hsin Tao
(Translated by Maria Reis Habito)

正見的苦行

我的修行就是用苦來覺醒、精進。我們常覺得世間苦不堪言，卻沒有人想到其實我們可以從苦裏面去了解、體會到佛陀所說的真理，不知道從苦裏面去追求佛法，證知真理的可貴。我歷經十多年的頭陀苦行，從苦行裏面，慢慢體會人生苦、空、無常的真理，只是我們常習慣自己生活裏面所發生的一切，在迷惑中不自覺，經常失去自己的理性，常常顛倒，產生很多煩惱，只要了解苦的真諦，就能離開苦，斷煩惱、了生死了。

在修行之初，我因為看到許多祖師大德在山林野外、墳墓間閉關苦行，體悟真理，斷除煩惱，離開罪惡，讓內心真正享受到自由、和平、安定。我深深感到學佛就是要這樣。所以我學習祖師大德們的修行方法：住破房子、住墳墓、住山洞，虔心禪修，使自己靜慮，希望藉此悟出佛陀啟示我們的真如實性。

在宜蘭墳墓中苦修時，我用死亡去看「我」，冷眼旁觀墳場的生死變化。看來看去，覺得死亡最平等，不管你生平如何，走到墳墓都是一樣只能躺著，不能坐著。我開始思索自己的人生跟生命的意義何在？那時，我依循佛法，持守好戒、定、慧三學。透過戒的生活軌範，以定調心，讓心專注，不去牽掛一切事情，讓自己能指揮、降伏這顆心，把心調到非常順、柔軟；再用慧思惟、思考，透視一切萬有萬事的真理，讓自己不執著、放下，了脫煩惱糾纏。那時，我每日禪修不輟，勇猛精進。

後來，為了更進一步，我決心進行斷食閉關。為什麼我要這樣做呢？就是為了找到我們本有的真如實性。因此，我在山洞裏，在自身極度虛弱下，面臨生死一瞬之間，體會生命的無常，終於找到這不死的覺性，體會如何把握我們的真如實性，我的心中感到安樂、沒煩惱。

其實，我們每個人都有真如實性，只是需要耕耘才能找回。怎麼耕耘？就是學習佛法、學習正知見。我透過禪修、苦行、對身體的觀照，了解到生命從何而來、從何而去，了解這個身體是地、水、火、風四大假合而成，一直在變化，是幻滅、無常的，但是我們的本知覺性不生也不滅，沒有形相，是不死的。輪迴只是我們身體在輪迴，靈性是如如不動的，死就是生、生就是死，這也是佛陀所要告訴我們的真知灼見，是佛法最本初的真理。

─── 心道法師